Plan Ahead

Recent Barack Obama Jokes

Leave a comment

Obama has decided to change the name of “Air Force One,” the Presidential jet. He’s going to rename it “Air Force The One.”
Tip o’the hat to Robert

Under both ObamaCare and the Clunker program, bills are divided into parts and labor.
Tip o’the hat to Manny

Astronomers have spotted an object in space that they say is potentially dangerous, yet for a year it’s just sat out there

and has done nothing. For that, they’ve named the object COMET OBAMA.
Tip o’the hat to RadioFree Rocky D at www.wtma.com

And marine biologists have spotted the deepest living fish ever, near the ocean floor at the Earth’s lowest point. They’re

calling it, the Barack Obama Approval Ratings Fish.
Tip o’the hat to RadioFree Rocky D at www.wtma.com

Bill Clinton, Joe Biden and Barack Obama go into a bar.  Bill tells the barkeeper, “I’ll have a B and C.” Obama whispers,

“What is a B and C?” “That’s a bourbon and Coke,” Clinton answers. Then Biden orders, “I’ll have a G and T.” Obama again

whispers, “What’s a G and T?” “A gin and tonic,” Joe replies. Obama wants to seem like he’s one of the guys so he tells the

barkeeper, “I’ll have a 15.” Now it’s the bartender’s turn to ask, “What’s a 15?” Obama says, “A 7 and 7.”
Tip o’the hat to Paula

You remember the Reagan era, when Ronald Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still with us? Well, now we

have Obama, no hope, and no cash.
Tip o’the hat to Josie

Q: What is the difference between ObamaCare and a car battery?
A: The battery has a positive side.
Tip o’the hat to Karen

Exhausted and ill from the effort of enacting the Obama healthcare plan, an elderly Senator goes to the doctor. Doctor says,

“I have bad news, good news, and bad news, Senator. The bad news is that you only have six months to live. But the good news

is that there’s an operation that is 100% successful in curing this illness.” “That sounds great, Doctor,” says the Senator,

“but what’s the other bad news?” The Doctor replies, “The Department of Health and Human Services says the first available

slot is seven months from today.”
Tip o’the hat to The Plainsman

In the washroom at the airport I saw a handwritten sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers: “Please push button and

listen for a short message from the President!”……….There’s nothing like “hot air” and the smell of crap to give you

that true Obama experience!!!!
Tip o’the hat to Kenneth

Q. What did Obama do when he caught Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid in bed with Osama bin Laden in the Lincoln

A. Nothing.
Tip o’the hat to The Plainsman

New bumper sticker:
Obama lied, the economy died.
Tip o’the hat to Ashley

Q. Why did Obama cross the road?
A. Actually, Obama promised to cross the road, but then he didn’t.
Tip o’the hat to The Plainsman

If Obama had half a brain, his butt would be lopsided.
Tip o’the hat to Luke

President Obama is to statesmanship as an Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Tip o’the hat to Henry

Q. What is Barack Obama’s favorite lunch meat?
A. Mao Tse Tongue.
Tip o’the hat to Meyer

The aliens forgot to remove Obama’s anal probe.
Tip o’the hat to Elliott

If Barack Obama had been the Commander in Chief of the Sioux and the Cheyenne, George Armstrong Custer would have died of old

Tip o’the hat to Dwight

Q. Why was Obama staring at the frozen orange juice can?
A. It said “concentrate”.
Tip o’the hat to Anita

America is the china shop; Obama is the bull.
Tip o’the hat to H. L. Mencken

Q. What would you get if you crossed Albert Einstein with Barack Obama?
A. E = MC Hammer
Tip o’the hat to Stanley

Q. Why did President Obama feel it was necessary for him to apologize to the world and to degrade the United States?
A.  Jimmy Carter had laryngitis.
Tip o’the hat to Poetsarena.com

Barack Obama told Oprah Winfrey that he deserves to get a “good, solid B-plus” for his first year as President. He also

claimed that Bo, the White House dog, ate the economy.
Tip o’the hat to Angela

Obamatopia: Where Soup Plantations are being replaced by soup kitchens.
Tip o’the hat to Herbert

Q. Why did Obama make a big contribution to SarahPAC?
A. Because he wants to face off against Sarah Palin instead of a real opponent in 2012.
Tip o’the hat to Willard.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *