In Wired, Chris Colin writes about the determined reverend whose church provides services to the Tenderloin’s most disenfranchised residents, and helps gentrifying tech industry workers engage with the marginalized neighbors their presence directly effects.
It was normal for human to experience of having a Bad Relationship with someone, so do not be sad or be stuck into it forever.
There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west –
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
The article below might help everyone on Getting out in a Bad Relationship:
Getting Out In A Bad Relationship
Author: My Relationship Tips
So, you thought you have finally found the ONE.
Someone who has an established career, with stable financial status, responsible, good looking, intelligent, and good-humored person has finally come into your life.
But, just when you thought you’ve finally met the ideal man or woman of your dreams, everything seems to be wrong and complicated. Suddenly, he has lost his job, she went bankrupt, he became careless, and she became paranoid about everything. You try to help your partner in dealing with the issues but it always turns out that he or she’s too good to ask help from anybody-even you.
Still, despite everything you still do almost everything to help your beau without you realizing that he or she slowly drags you into the pit of depression and helplessness they’re in. When you feel that you are no longer healthy, happy, and growing in the relationship, that’s the time when you are trapped in bad relationship.
Being stuck and stranded
It is always hard to end any kind of relationship-especially if it’s a romantic relationship. But, no matter how hard to end something that you thought is precious, you should know when to end a relationship especially if you are well-aware that its not doing you any good.
The signs of the times would probably tell you if you are already being stuck in a bad relationship. Experts agree that the relationship is already bad when the couple is going through unusual periods of disagreement and bitterness that can be evitable in some relationships. You will also know if you are already in the pit of a bad relationship when it involves incessant aggravation and everything-even your partner-seems to be out of your reach.
The main determinant if you are in a bad relationship is the behavior of your partner. You can tell that you are being caught up in a bad relationship if your partner is beyond your reach of communication and comprehension, he or she doesn’t want to make any commitment, doesn’t profess his or her feelings even if there is a sort of commitment or plainly incapable of loving someone else besides him or herself.
Studies also show that in any bad relationship, the couple is often on dissimilar wavelengths that there is almost no common ground and no connection or communication that result to irritation and disappointment.
Since bad relationships usually stem from chronic reciprocation of what one or both partners need, the relationship itself can even damage the self-esteem of the persons involved. Bad relationships are also destructive for persons especially those who have invested so much in their careers for their personal lives since these serve as a perfect breeding ground for rage, bitterness, self-doubt, melancholy, and distress.
Aside from emotional distress, staying in a bad relationship can be hazardous to someone’s health. The most common hazard of bad relationship is the physical harm caused by an abusive partner. In less severe cases, being in a bad relationship can cause tensions and various chemical changes often triggered by so much stress.
Being in a bad relationship reflects so much on the person’s overall health and well-being because it can drain energy, thus, lowering the body’s resistance to illness. The common health hazards of being in a bad relationship include severe headaches, back pains, and stomachaches caused by anger and frustration; insomnia and melancholy caused by emotional distress; and weight problems caused by irregular behavioral patterns and depression.
If couples continue to be in a relationship that is no longer healthy, they will try to find a way to escape from being stuck inside by being alcoholic or drug dependent. Worse, being stuck in an unhealthy relationship can eventually lead to recurrent suicide attempts.
What most people inside relationships do not realize is that the more they try to work things out, things get more and more complicated. This is because both people in the relationship try so hard to pass through the stage without realizing that they are detaching themselves with their respective partners. As a result of this detachment is misunderstanding, incompatibility, and soon enough, falling out of love.
If you are already in a bad relationship that robs you off your freedom to be yourself, the freedom to love other person, and the freedom to get out of an unhealthy and destructive relationship, here are some of the things you can do to recover.
1. Consider your wellness as the first priority in life whether you are in or out of a romantic relationship.
2. Try to be “selfish” at times by focusing on your own needs above all else.
3. Be strong enough to deal with your own problems.
4. Have a positive outlook in life and cultivate whatever positive values you acquired within the relationship.
5. Nurture you spiritual side and try to look for ways or activities that can bring you inner peace.
6. If the relationship was quite traumatic, think of getting professional help or find a support group where you can chare your experiences and the lessons you have learned.
7. Don’t be afraid to fall in love but try to be more cautious next time so you won’t be stuck in a bad relationship.
About the Author
My Relationship Tips has hundreds of relationship and dating articles for men and women.
How many times have you made a decision to please someone else, and one minute later you knew you had made the wrong decision? In all probability, you made a choice that was not in alignment with your core values.
(If you do things just to please other people YOU ARE A People Pleaser)
In mid-life it’s essential to question our value system and be prepared to make alterations for the next part of your journey.
It is vital that you discover your own personal core values in life, because by uncovering the values that are most important to you, you will eventually find out that all of your decisions making will be free from regrets, you will find out that your motivation to reach your goals will stay strong as ever, you will also gain a greater understanding and satisfaction from yourself, and last but not the least the greater levels of contentment with your life path and decisions will surely come.
“AND YOU WILL SURELY FIND GOD AND YOU WOULD SURELY CHOOSE TO PLEASE HIM ALONE “
Finding your core values is one of the first steps to becoming a People Pleaser No More. How else are you going to keep your ladder on the right wall? I recommend http://evangelionfoundation.org for your JOURNEY.
Success is made sweeter when shared with people you would rather be with.-Naomi
I remember this old story and I would like to share it to everyone.
Father John woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father John headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?” The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.” Just then Father John hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?” The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”
How To Have A Succesful Long Distance Relationship?
Author: Distance Relationships
Long Distance relationships are a true test to a couple’s commitment and personal limits. LDRs take a great amount of effort to maintain and often people involved in them, realize that they evolve into a state of emotion that they never found themselves in before. When your partner is miles away from you, it is very easy to let things go wrong and lead your long distance romance to an early death. Some people find it difficult to bridge the distance through communication, others become overly obsessed with what their partner is doing when they are not there and as a result they spiral down a road of jealousy and suspicion. They key is balance and following some basic steps to keep your relationship healthy and strong.
Communicate and visit often
It cannot be stressed enough how important communication is for every relationship, especially if it is an LDR. With the distance working to keep you and your sweetie apart, your defense is keeping all lines of communication open. It doesn’t matter how you do it as long as you do it. Every long distance couple should find ways to communicate that make both partners comfortable and happy. You can talk on the phone everyday, send e-mails, faxes or text messages and whatever you do make sure you share your feelings and expectations and be true to one another. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone calls. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up some “rules” about frequency of communication and visits and stick to them, consistency can help a LDR survive. (Check our Communicate Better and Travel section)
Avoid jealousy and be trusting
One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worth of trust until proven otherwise. Don’t fall in the trap to interrogate your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven’t met or he/she didn’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a LDR, you lives won’t pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves.
Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a LDR is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive points it that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, communicate better since you don’t have “face-to-face” time and test your feelings. As long as you see the long distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.
Long distance dating is all about a balanced relationship between partners; a relationship built on strong foundations of trust, understanding and determination to make it work. The two partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to cooperate so that this relationship can lead to a happy ending. If these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.
About the Author
Visit http:www.waiit.com the Community Website for anyone in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) or interested in this topic.
The site features articles that provide advice and tips about long distance love. You’ll also find forums, videos, and testimonials from people who experienced long distance love.
Author: Relationships Center
Have you consistently ended up in a relationship with men who didn’t see or bring out the best in you? Then take a deep breath – because you deserve a man who sees you and can love and nurture you the way you would him.
But what if you’ve found yourself with a series of men who have been in some way negative, abusive, critical or controlling, or in some way seriously LACKING the kind of “relationship skills” that are necessary for a fulfilling relationship?
If so, it’s possible that your own past, your thoughts and feelings are actually ATTRACTING the wrong men, and that you end up becoming ATTACHED and staying in these kinds of relationships for all the wrong reasons.
Your first step, if you’re truly ready to put an end to this cycle, is this:
Starting saying “No!” and radically reject these kinds of hurtful behaviors from any man. Yes – there are creeps out there.
It’s your job, and yours only, to say “No!” and remove any man from your life who isn’t showing you he’s worthy of your love and attention. But when you keep going on with hurtful relationships… and you go through one disastrous relationship after another… the worst starts to happen for you.
It starts to try and turn you into someone who acts fearful, protective and defensive around any man you meet. Things will only get worse for you if you let the bad relationships from your past get into the driver’s seat when you finally meet a guy you could have a healthy relationship with.
So, do you seem to unknowingly attract “unavailable” men?
In this email I’m going to teach you why a man will act afraid of a real relationship…
And how lots of women both CHOOSE the wrong men… and bring out the “bad qualities” in the right men and ruin things for themselves.
**Quick Tip: Just because you’ve been happily dating a man for several weeks, months or even years… it doesn’t automatically mean he is thinking or feeling “commitment“, or seeking a deeper lasting expression of his LOVE.**
If you’re like most women, then by experience you already know this to be true. And it scares you. You can spend time with a man, get close, become intimate and bond… and he can still NOT WANT to enter into a relationship with you.
So why are so many men “unavailable”? The short answer is because men have a different RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE for wanting to get “serious” with a woman… and a different way of seeing how love and an exclusive committed relationship comes together.
But what can you do with this? The first thing you should know is… a man’s “Commitment Tempo” (when he’ll want to take things to the next level with you) has NOTHING to do with how long you’ve been together.
Don’t get yourself hung up on this like lots of other women who try and “convince” a man it’s time because however many months have already passed and he SHOULD BE ready. Talking this way to a man is a great way to shoot yourself in the foot and encourage him to pull away.
What matters, and what works, is addressing where you both are in terms of your EMOTIONAL CONNECTION… instead of worrying and talking about TIME.
If you’ve ever been with a man and shared something amazing for several months and grown closer and closer, but then he RESISTED and WITHDREW once you actually talked about how things were moving forward between you… then you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Here’s the secret:
A man doesn’t commit to a woman in a conversation, or even with his words. It’s something he just FEELS inside and wants for himself. Do you know what creates this DESIRE and FEELING inside a man?
Now let’s get down to what’s really going on inside your heart when it comes to men and relationships. Here’s what I want to know first:
Why is it so clear and easy for other women to fall in love with a man, and for a relationship to effortlessly come together and grow … While YOU keep attracting all the men out there who are “unavailable” and SEEM great at first, but eventually get scared and just can’t go “deeper” with you?
Is this “unavailable” thing really a problem so many men are carrying around that gets in the way of love? Or … Could it also be that YOU play a part in finding men who are “unavailable”?… And that you bring about that unavailable RESPONSE which is already lying there dormant inside even the most “evolved” men?
I want to share with you what could be a new and enlightening perspective on all this… There’s an important realization all SMART and LOVING women I know end up coming to at some point in their love lives.
It’s a “light bulb” that suddenly just turns on… and when it does you instantly grow and see things with a new sense of CLARITY. Unfortunately, most women only come to this important realization AFTER they’ve been through the pain and frustration of doing everything they can think of to “revive” their relationship and failing.
I’ll tell you what this REALIZATION is:
It’s that when you’re with a man who is feeling or acting UNCERTAIN with you… even if you could give him an “ultimatum” that would move things ahead to the place in your relationship that YOU WANT…
A man who moves ahead in his relationship with you because you asked him or demanded it, isn’t very vested in the relationship. This kind of situation is a very “weak” and dangerous place from which to enter into a loving relationship.
Especially for you as a woman who likely wants a man who is truly COMMITTED to being with you on a physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual level…. Knowing this, let me ask you…
**Do men truly COMMIT and choose to love and become loyal, caring, affectionate, etc. just because a woman ASKS THEM?… Or does a man need to have HIS OWN REASONS for being and feeling this way?
It’s a VERY IMPORTANT question.
If you’ve had one or more relationships where you were ready for “more”… but the man you were with was seeming to drag his heels, or just not care about your relationship… and you tried to make it work but it only seemed to BACKFIRE- then this question could be one of the most important questions you ever ask yourself.
Seriously…. So as a bit of homework, I want you to stop for a second and THINK ABOUT IT…
Do men truly COMMIT and choose to love and become truly loyal, caring, and affectionate just because a woman ASKS IT OF THEM? Or…
Does a man need to have HIS OWN REASONS for truly feeling and being this way with you, if it’s going to LAST?
WHERE TO START LEARNING ABOUT WHAT MAKES HIM WANT TO COMMIT WITH YOU
Let me be unusually direct with you, for your own good:
Have you finally figured out that if you don’t know HOW TO GET A MAN TO OPEN UP and talk and share his deeper thoughts and feelings with you… that it’s going to be impossible to make your relationship work?
Lots of women think they get how this works because they talk a lot about what’s on THEIR MIND.
For most women, this is common Communication Mistake #1 in their relationship:
Sharing YOUR FEELINGS first, and often, because you believe this will somehow get him to share his feelings in return.
This is not a great way to get a man to “open up” to you and get in touch with his feelings. This is not his “emotional process.”… Especially with a man you’re in a relationship with who is already acting “withdrawn” and has shut off his feelings from you.
This kind of MORE IS BETTER approach about talking and sharing YOUR FEELINGS actually WORKS AGAINST YOU more than it helps you with men who are acting uncertain and withdrawn.
Here’s the deal… If you know anything about a man, then you should know that to get to know HIS FEELINGS, then more talk about YOUR FEELINGS is NOT the answer.
Which leads me to common Communication Mistake #2:
Out of all the things that can go wrong in a relationship, I’ve found one that causes women more pain, frustration, and leads to BAD OUTCOMES with the man in their life than anything else…
It’s the SAME ISSUE that keeps popping up at the beginning of their romantic relationships:
It’s when a woman expects that the relationship will progress to something more committed, but ends up feeling disappointed when she finds out the man doesn’t want the same thing.
This problem usually plays itself out in one of two ways.
I’m sure you’ll identify with one (if not both) of these:
SCENARIO #1: You know exactly what you want out of the relationship, but rather than “rock the boat” by having a conversation in which you make your expectations clear, you decide to WAIT IT OUT in hopes that the man will soon feel the same way and that everything will just “work itself out.”
SCENARIO #2: You know exactly what you want out of the relationship but as soon as you get the sense that the guy doesn’t share your desires or isn’t “on the same page” emotionally, you subtly and unconsciously decide to PRETEND that you’re cool with things just being casual, even though you know you need a lot MORE to be happy and content.
Predictably, when you find yourself in either of these two scenarios, it becomes a slippery slope toward ultimate relationship disaster…. Here’s how this plays out:
- First – you start feeling unfulfilled, anxious or worried that you’re not getting what you want and need from the relationship.
- Second – you don’t know how to say what you’re feeling and what you want in a mature, honest way, so you say nothing at all or you drop “hints” that are misunderstood or ignored.
- Third – he doesn’t change anything about the way he’s treating you or the relationship, and you become frustrated or disappointed because he doesn’t really “get” what’s missing and what you want from him
- Fourth – your frustration builds up even more and either brings you to an emotionally destructive CONFRONTATION with him that FREAKS him out (like an ultimatum)… or all the silent tension and negative feelings between you make him act distant, disconnected and maybe he even starts losing interest in you.
Remember going down this road?
Not fun … I’ve been there myself….
So what’s going on here? And what can you do about it?
“CENTER” YOURSELF FIRST… AND GET CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT
What you need to do FIRST, before you do anything else, is get CLEAR about what you want and expect from your love life… You need to be honest with YOURSELF first, before you can be honest with anyone else in your life.
Stop PRETENDING you only want a “casual” fun fling when what you REALLY want is to have a committed, serious relationship that’s “going somewhere.”
Here’s the thing: Getting clear about what you want will help guide your mind in all kinds of POSITIVE DIRECTIONS to help you find and attract the right situations and people in your life.
But, unfortunately, being CLEAR and HONEST is not that simple for most women when “the rubber meets the road” in dating and relationships.
The reality is, knowing what they want and expect can turn into a source of EXTREME frustration and anxiety for a lot of women.
Why is that? I’ll explain…
Expectations can definitely set us off in good directions in our lives… but when we don’t feel like we have the CONTROL over how to get those expectations met, the “wheels really start to come off the car,” so to speak.
A woman may “feel” like the man she’s been dating is “The One” and she can see things getting much more committed and serious, but she also senses she doesn’t have the right tools or skills to know how to COMMUNICATE those desires to the man in a positive way.
Simply put, the woman is AFRAID that approaching the guy with a heavy “talk” will either scare him away. Or… She herself doesn’t know what “taking it to the next level” really means to HIM, why he would want this, and how to go about talking about it in a way that builds trust and makes him want to open up and share.
So she avoids telling the man what she’s really thinking and feeling about their relationship. Instead, she starts to accept or downplay the little disappointments she feels…. Until one day she finally wakes up and realizes that she doesn’t have the kind of relationship she THOUGHT she would have with this man, and she’s just not happy with herself or the situation.
And sometimes this “awakening” doesn’t even happen until after the man cheats or leaves. Let’s just simplify things and boil it down to that one thing that is the cause of all the trouble and confusion:
The unfortunate truth is that some women don’t want to dig deeper into what a man truly wants because of their own fears…. They’re AFRAID of finding out the truth about what a man truly feels about them, and their future together.
And the most dreaded fear of all… REJECTION and ABANDONMENT.
These two things are SO STRONG AND POWERFUL that something fascinating happens in the woman’s mind when there’s even a small potential for either of these….
Their mind starts a cycle of SELF-DECEPTION. Here’s how it works:
The fear of pain and loss often leads us to ignore our thoughts and intuition and replace our fearful thoughts with happier thoughts that make us feel comfortable.
It’s the mind’s “emotional defense mechanism”… I know you felt this before.
How many times have you been unsure – deep down – about the man you are seeing, but instead of examining those doubts and finding a way for you to deal with your own feelings, you decided to actually BUILD HIM UP to your friends and family as being a wonderful catch because you didn’t want to face some of the problems lurking deep in the back of your mind?
You thought that you’d help things out by telling yourself and having faith in what you wanted to be true.
…And sometimes, in the process of making up these “new truths” you even start to convince YOURSELF that he’s a better guy than he actually is?
Or maybe you’ve been in a situation where you’ve gotten no indication that the man you’re seeing wants any kind of serious relationship, but you choose to believe that you’re building a committed relationship as things slowly and naturally escalate.
Making those assumptions without the basis of direct communication can lead to BIG TROUBLE down the road… Save yourself the wasted energy and the broken heart.
If you’re looking to move past the fear and insecurity you feel with men but don’t want to get in touch with or let anyone know about, then I’d like to help you get in touch and start the “healing” and growth process.
Remember, a man can’t read your mind, or know all that’s in your heart.
And if you’re carrying around pain or fear, it’s surely getting in the way of a man seeing the beautiful and real you underneath that he would want to know and love.
Don’t keep a man from seeing the best of the real you that’s inside. Make it easy for him, and for you. Now, back to working with your own expectations, and being with a man and discovering how he is feeling.
Here’s a question that’s probably already on your mind:
How can you be sure you’re involved with the RIGHT guy, and know how he’s feeling, and if he shares your expectations and desires?… The answer is HONESTY.
HONESTY is one of the most liberating and valuable traits to develop – and it’s even more valuable when you’re dating…. And guess what else?
It FEELS REALLY GOOD to be completely open and honest.
Plus, even when it seems like it would push you and a man apart, it has an amazing way of bringing you closer together and building more love and admiration.
But only if you know how to share your thoughts and honest feelings in a way that SERVES YOU and your relationship.
Not all communication is equal.
You can MEAN something, but depending on how you share it with someone… it can either be received as loving and “good”… or as NEGATIVE and CRITICAL…. How is what you are feeling being RECEIVED?
And how does this relate to the way you choose to COMMUNICATE what you are feeling?
A WAY TO COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS AND DESIRES WITH A MAN THAT HE’LL LOVE AND RESPOND TO
Let me tell you something important that you might have gotten mixed up inside your head as a woman in relationships with men where they wouldn’t listen…
It’s OK to want what you want and to let a man know it…. In fact, it’s a MUST.
And it’s OK to tell a man that his behavior doesn’t match with what you want.
If a woman is honest and up front about what she wants and expects from a man, in a way that says that she’s not too attached to the immediate outcome and she subtly lets him know that he better have his act together or else… It can take the usual “teeth pulling” talk into an opportunity for building attraction and a deep source of commitment with a man.
But remember – YOU CAN’T FAKE IT…. You have to be in a place where you truly believe that you’ll find and meet your expectations for love and relationships, with or without the man who’s there in front of you right then…. No matter how much you love him.
That means you have to be in the right frame of mind, and state in your heart, BEFORE you start the conversation with him…
But most women aren’t in the right frame of mind because they’re afraid, and they’ve “tricked” themselves into thinking that their intimate feelings for a man will scare him off.
It’s not honesty that will scare him off, it’s the negative, fearful and anxious “vibe” that you unknowingly give off before you finally EXPLODE because you can no longer hide how you feel from the man you’re with. That’s what scares some men off and makes them clam up.
The amazing thing is that men crave HONEST women who are up front about who they are and what they want in relationships…. The key is to know the RIGHT WAY to communicate these things without going over the top.
Remember, if you communicate with a man in a way that assumes, begs, convinces, or makes him think that you’re “entitled” to a relationship and a commitment with him, he will NEVER, EVER respect you and want to stay for the long-term.
You might get what you want in the short-term if he gives in to your wishes just to avoid a conflict, but trust me, you are headed for MUCH bigger problems in the future…. Or worse, you’ll get what you want NOW, but he’s spent the past months – or YEARS – secretly SEETHING WITH RESENTMENT towards you.
Not good…. GIVE HIM A GOOD REASON TO WANT TO COMMIT TO YOU
You just can’t “talk” a man into wanting to commit to you by listing all the ways your relationship is special. This is something VERY IMPORTANT to remember when it comes to men and relationships.
**You have to give a man the right “REASONS” for him to want to and make HIMSELF committed. **
Becoming deeply committed doesn’t often just happen with the passing of time for a man. He won’t want to commit “just because” it’s been six months or a year (or longer). He won’t commit to you because you explain how you think you’re better than all the women he’s dated or because you have such a great “connection.”
He’s going to commit for his own reasons.
So what are these “reasons”?
They’re very complex if you don’t understand them… but simple at the same time…. A man’s reasons for committing, or not committing, are his FEELINGS and EMOTIONS…. Sounds simple, but it’s profound and true. The “masculine” part of a man has to FEEL like he is naturally and of his own free will CHOOSING to be with a woman…. If this happens, his commitment will usually be strong and lasting.
But if a man commits because a woman has been talking to him and analyzing things to show him how a relationship really makes “sense”, then his commitment won’t be strong… and it probably won’t last.
See the difference?
A man’s motivation for commitment is how a woman makes him FEEL when he’s with her. If you want him to respond and have committed feelings for you, then you need to do more of the things that will make him FEEL the desire, interest and attraction that lead him to want to commit.
In other words, WORDS and conversations are the LEAST powerful and effective tools that a woman has when it comes to love and relationships.
The FEELINGS of ATTRACTION that she can create, sometimes without even speaking, are the MOST POWERFUL.
In “The Secret to the Hearts of MEN” I reveal specific ways to subtly communicate to a man the things that will “trigger” that intense level of attraction inside him. You can literally have a man who wasn’t totally “feeling it” for you suddenly take notice and see and recognize the things inside you he simply didn’t look for or see before.
Now, I was only able to give a few simple tips and insights on how to better connect with a man in a way that will lead you both closer together and help him not only talk, but FEEL committed.
And this is a great first step that you can quickly build on as a man starts to see you as the one woman he wants as his one and only partner. Don’t wait for this all to happen on its own, when you know what you want. Go here now and turn up the dial on the level of ATTRACTION a man feels and experiences with you on both a Physical and Emotional level.
You’ll be glad you did.
About the Author
Great Quotes From Great People on Self Improvement
Author: Rodney Grubbs
Self improvement is one of the most ignored journeys in our modern society. Start your journey like a child who is born into this world to learn. We can have intense desire for changing or improving who we are, but if we don’t begin the journey with one step, as Confucius once said and then break it down into smaller plans, the journey might begin to seem impossible.
Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. Write down all the things you would no longer accept in your life, all the things you would no longer tolerate, and all the things that you aspire to become.
Go ahead and take the actions and steps necessary to make your goal of self-improvement in some area of your life into a reality. A good example of this is how athletes will compare their current performance to their own previous performances with self-improvement being the number one goal.
The great philosopher Heraclitus says “the only permanent thing in this world is change”. Everything is in constant flux. But human nature resists this change because change is uncomfortable, stressful and painful. We hate change so much and yet it is change that has brought in so much progress for us.
Over the years my teacher has been teaching about a simple concept called ‘The Ant Philosophy’ to students. I think everybody should study ants. They have an amazing self improvement philosophy and here it is:
Ants never quit. When they’re headed somewhere and you try to stop them; they’ll look for another way. They’ll climb over, they’ll climb under, and they’ll climb around. They keep on looking for another way. Likewise never quit moving in the direction of your goal but do keep changing the ways to get where you want to go.
Take a look at these great quotes from great people on self improvement:
“Unless you try to do something beyond what you have mastered, you will never grow.”
“I’m going to get through this; I’m going to be fine. The power to do it is all in my mind.”
Sean Gregory Derrick
“No one knows everything, but everyone can learn something.”
“The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.”
“You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change.”
“The best contribution one can make to humanity is to improve oneself.”
“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings so that you shall come easily by what others have labored hard for.”
These people are the pillars of our society and these quotes are stressing on self improvement for the betterment of society and humanity.
If we want to improve we need to learn from our mistakes, from our experience, from other people, from our failures and successes and not to forget from our leaders. Our success is the result of our ability to learn and grow in all situations.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/great-quotes-from-great-people-on-self-improvement-272962.html
About the AuthorRodney Grubbs has been an amazing mentor over the past years. He has not only shown the different techniques that he uses to increase his income and build his 30 plus year marriage, but more importantly he has given a new way of thinking to create your best life. He will continually help people, learn to live happy & lead prosperous lives. Visit here to find the life of your dreams, with his highly recommended reading materials and proven programs: New Level Opportunities
Improve your Personal Life by being competent
Losing an election is not the end of the world. It’s certainly not the worst thing that’s ever happened in my life. There’s lots of people in this world who have to go through things a whole lot worse than that. If losing an election is the worst thing that I have to go through in my life, I’ll have been lucky. And I can tell you right now, it’s not the worst thing. Running for election put me in touch with so many wonderful people that it was a terrific experience for me. I really enjoyed it, “As much hard work as it was, I enjoyed the experience of talking to people about any number of different subjects that sometimes I had never given any consideration to. I’ve always had a passion for dealing with people, and I learned a lot about their story and experience regarding their hard time in making a loan when they do think it was their own money they are borrowing. Just like the olds days when I’m a cashier I am traveling around all the SBMA revenue center to have an eight hours duty and talking to Co-SBMA employees and so forth and meeting with people in their work environment. “ It gave me a new appreciation of the PLACE where I WORK .It also gave me an appreciation of some of the challenges that we all face together as a worker.” We hear bad news each day. Japan is in chaos, the US is battling hard with other countries, Libya are experiencing civil unrest. This is out of our control. Therefore, we must see the new light. For instance, you can say “I do not have control over the world, yet I have control over my actions.” Once you see that you can only change you, you will live happier and free of chaos.
Now I’m asking you? Do you have the competence to improve your everyday living and overall humane existence, or do you lack this quality? To improve personal living you have to find competence to take control. Our life is the personal way we as humans life. It is our way of making choices, which contributes to our person. In life we have inner coaches, counselors, etc that help us to achieve in life. We also have helpful experts in the world who will take the time to help those who find it difficult to help self. You have many options and resources available to you.
How to use competence:
Competence is earned. You must learn how to build competence to use it. A person with competence will take what they learn and use it to solve different situations in their life. They will make what they learn second to the first nature they intend to acquire. A competent person always sees the new light at the end of each tunnel.
When a person has competence, he or she feels joyful. A joyful person will consider each incident, experience etc in life as something they can learn from, as well this person will not allow bad weigh him or her down. The person will take the bad, see new light and continuing learning from his or her mistakes.
You will need to learn how to suspend judgments of self and others. You are not the Man in control. Only one spiritual being has the right to call judgment down on anyone. Let this Man take the weight on His shoulders. You may need to pray often to cease judging self and others. since this is a common problem, we face in the world. It is habitually seen in nearly everyone you meet.
It is ok to have opinions, but when you do not have facts to support your claims, why speak. Too many times people suspect, offer opinions, speculate, or jump to conclusions, which has caused major problems in the world. If you do not have facts behind you, or to support what you say, shut up. Allow someone else in the world to make the next mistake.
If you want to live happier, you will need to build your energy. To build energy you will need to eat proper, exercise and take good care of you. You will need to associate with positive people and learn to help others as well as yourself. The more effort you put forth, the more you will get back from your efforts.
Next, you want to consider your health. Frequent doctor visits, exercise, eating right and avoiding harmful chemicals and substances are a start to bettering your health.
Once you get your health in check, you can move to build self-awareness. In fact, you should have a degree of this already built, since you needed it to see how to improve your overall life. Self-awareness is the process of evaluating self. When you can sit back and look at you, you have self-awareness. What can I do to change bad habits. How do my bad habits help me. Remember, laugh as you evaluate yourself to keep from going insane.