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SMART Goals For a Happy Life

Author: Martin

A recent review of happiness research shows that the happiest individuals build a very little less and have fewer degrees than people who were solely moderately happy. It seems that moderately happy folks are invariably striving for a lot of, trying to fill the gap, stuffed with ambition. They’ll achieve higher status, more education and larger paychecks, but they never get any happier. Happy people live comfortably and live longer. They have a lot of friends, they offer additional back to their community, and that they fancy the ride. Thus, how do you switch tracks if you’re successful enough and now wish to be happier?
SMART Goals and Happiness
Per Daniel Gilbert, a analysis psychologist and author of the book stumbling on happiness, you begin by adjusting your expectations or goals downward. Our happiness is directly proportional to how well we have a tendency to meet our own expectations. After we aim high and fall in need of the goal, we are disappointed and unhappy.
Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi agrees. He studied how individuals used their time then explore for the happiest people. He found that the individuals who often did activities that challenged them, but were inside reach were the happiest. These individuals often experienced a state called Flow, the kind of peak experience where you are doing everything right and everything fits into place. Athletes typically call the state of flow being in the Zone. Spending additional time in flow is one amongst the ways that we will increase our overall life satisfaction.
These researchers agree that your goals are key to your happiness. The key to a cheerful and successful life is to balance your goals together with your capabilities thus you are challenged to
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Specific. One of components of flow is a clear objective. This helps us focus for better performance and for that sense of challenge that’s so vital to at state of flow. It’s important to line the goal appropriately thus it includes lots of individuals, sensible relationships, reliance on our strengths and the items we like to do, and value on happiness itself.
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Measurable. We perform better and are more doubtless to feel flow once we keep score. A measurable goal offers us a means to try to to that.
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Achievable, Realistic, Timely. After we think through a goal to make positive that it will be achieved, even if it’s a little bit of stretch we feel challenged and happy. When we take on an necessary goal while not the boldness that we have a tendency to will achieve it we tend to feel stress and worry. Designing how we have a tendency to will meet our goal enough to feel assured is a key to flow.
The act of writing out a SMART goal can be useful in increasing happiness as well. Typically our expectations are vague and formed unconsciously. Once we write them down, it’s easier to identify an unrealistic expectation and either regulate the goal or the arrange to realize it to bring us back into a healthy challenge.
SMART goals aren’t just the key of success, they’re a key to a contented life.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/holidays-articles/smart-goals-for-a-happy-life-5059529.html

About the Author

Brody Long has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Happiness, you can also check out his latest website about:

Retirement Guidelines Which reviews and lists the best
What Is Retirement Age


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Bereavement!?.# A mixed emotion….

Bereavement can bring feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and confusion, as well as bodily effects such as weight loss, lack of concentration, and sleep disturbance. For the past two days it happens to me, I also experiencing loss of memory, loss of self-esteem and identity I begin to neglect my appearance for a time being and feel that nothing matters any more. Although these are all normal rather than pathological reactions, at these talking to others about what I feel really helps.
I just think that in reality, there is no death – only transition. So, the real question is; “How can we live our life now to make our “transition” free and clear?” So where do we go when we die? Do we really die? If you fear death, are grieving for a loved one who has passed over, or believe in Heaven, Purgatory, Paradise, Hell and Limbo, perhaps you need to take a different perspective……Because of this, It crossed into my mind that first thing we should learned who are we really and why are we here?
The infamous Deepak Chopra once told:
“Human beings are made of body, mind and spirit.
Of these, spirit is primary,
for it connects us to the source of everything,
the eternal field of consciousness.”

and that….

“Each of us is here to discover our true Self…
that essentially we are spiritual beings
who have taken manifestation in physical form…
that we’re not human beings that have occasional spiritual experiences
that we’re spiritual beings that have occasional human experiences. “…

So, knowing now that we are spirit Invested with bodily nature and form on earth to discover our true Self through our physical form, and knowing that Spirit does not die, then we can understand that death is nothing to fear because it is then really only a shift of dimension and or ‘homecoming’, then now it is how we live our lives here and how we think about ourselves and our life can be so invigorating and empowering. If you perished tomorrow, can you say that you lived a full life and that you influenced positively on the lives of those near you? Would you feel sorry of all the things that you’ve left unsaid or undone?

The Bible often reminds us of how we should long for its coming and cling to its promise to keep us going when life is difficult. For the believer, death is the gateway into the promise of eternal life as we shed our earthly bodies to enter into the presence of God (1 Corinthians 15:50-53).
”Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade — kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (1 Peter 1:3-9, ESV)

So after all of these!!! I pray to God in Jesus name:

Eternal rest grant unto my father (Jaime C. Menor Sr.), O Lord; and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.


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Valentine Flowers: The Best Valentine Gift?

Author: Surajitsen Sharma

Valentine flowers are the best valentine gifts you can send to your Valentine. Flowers have been linked with love and romance from time immemorial. Even in Shakespeare’s famous play Romeo and Juliet, immortalized in romantic literature, we find the mention of flowers. The famous line “what’s in a name? That which is called Rose…” is still cited to emphasize that the real merit of anything is more significant than its name or title. To denote love and passion, the rose is unparallel and Valentine’s Day, the day for the festival of love, is unimaginable without Valentine flowers.

Valentine flowers have, over the centuries, recognized a language of their own, and different colors and shades of valentine flowers have come to mean differently. Choosing the correct Valentine flowers has become something of an art for even though any valentine flowers convey your love, the true valentine flowers can have greater worth, meaning and the expression of sophistication that every human wishes in a partner. To be precise, the correct color or shade of valentine flowers is certainly going to make better sense than just a simple bunch of unspecified valentine flowers.

Red valentine flowers are of course the most trendy and most common choice when one thinks of valentine flowers. Red valentine flowers are seen to suggest deep passion and may be the most widespread romantic gift shared across diverse cultures. Red valentine flowers speak the language of youthful love-struck couples. But, there are other shades of valentine flowers which speak of love with greater delicacy and no less fervor.

Pink valentine flowers are acknowledged as the choice of the intellectual elite. Pink valentine flowers stand for refinement and grace in contrast to the intense romance symbolized by red valentine flowers. While pink valentine flowers of a light shade convey reverence and understanding, valentine flowers with a deeper shade of pink express admiration and gratefulness.

Orange or yellow valentine flowers are also in huge demand for they have come to speak the language of love in their own way. Orange valentine flowers are considered to provide delicate meanings to your expression of love. Orange valentine flowers of a deeper shade are time-honored to symbolize the celebration of a beauty which is oblivious of itself, while valentine flowers with a lighter shade of orange declare longing and obsession for your beloved.

Similarly, valentine flowers of a yellow color represent happiness and cheer, and express an ecstatic spirit of love. Yellow valentine flowers say louder than words that you are exceedingly content in your relationship.

Among valentine flowers, the white valentine flowers have come to signify purity and innocence. White valentine flowers are also taken to state your veneration and humility and to respect pure and innocent love of youth.

So, valentine flowers are an indispensable part of your valentine day gift, but the color or shade of those valentine flowers can suggest messages that are worlds apart. Be sure of what you aim to put across before you pick up your bouquet of valentine flowers and send them to your valentine.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/gifts-articles/valentine-flowers-the-best-valentine-gift-1800825.html

About the Author

Infibeam.com – Online shopping destination in India offers Valentine Gifts, Mobiles, Books, eBooks, Apparel, Lifestyle Products, other Gifts like Valentine Flowers & many more products at lowest price & free shipping in India.


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Even The Littlest Things You Do Can Become A Major Turning Point For Someone

Author: Penny Phang

Relationship is one of the most effective tools for spiritual evolution because we’re always in relationships. Think of the web of relationships you have at any time—friends, parents, children, colleagues, teachers, lovers, even enemies. All are, at their heart, spiritual experiences.
Where would you be without all those lessons learned through relationships? Could you have grown into the person you are today? Could you have known the things you know today?
If you think back to all the little things we do for each other, and pay attention to some of the events that have unfolded as a result of them, you’ll learn to recognize the impact we have on one another, everyday.
I want to take this time to remind you that you all matter to many, in more ways than you know. I see this everyday and everywhere, and am grateful for it. Let me give you an example.
In the late 80’s soon after my move from Malaysia to Canada, I found myself being antagonized by a group of students I barely knew at my high school. Maybe I didn’t quite understand their culture; perhaps my English wasn’t perfect; or maybe my clothes didn’t suit their taste. Who knows? But they seemed to enjoy tormenting me. They often threatened me, called me names and threw things at me and laughed.
I dreaded recess because I knew I would bump into them. I was afraid of them. I was afraid of getting in trouble and I was afraid I would disappoint my family if I retaliated or hurt anyone. Most of all, I was angry with myself for feeling so weak.
Feeling scared, sad and angry all at the same time, I kept my composure when I asked my art teacher, Ms. Kroeker, if I could spend my lunchtime in the art studio to practice my artwork. I even convinced her to lock the door so I could “keep a better eye on all the art supplies.” She never questioned me. She was always very good to me.
To this day, Ms. Kroeker doesn’t even know the truth about what she’s done for me just by doing me that “little” favor. You see, while I was locked in the art studio each day during lunchtime, I came to realize that I was a good artist. I soon understood why Ms. Kroeker always praised my work. She believed in me long before I even believed in myself.
Learning to appreciate my own creativity was just my uncovering a piece of the puzzle. There was more. Being locked in at lunchtime gave me a safe place to be, to think, and to do some soul searching.
And with this opportunity to reflect, something inside me began to change. I was sick of feeling scared; sick of being locked in; sick of allowing others to have so much control over the way I felt. I knew that sooner or later I would have to face up to my fears and stand up for myself.
I had to unplug from a negative belief pattern about myself that had no truth but nonetheless had “power” over me. I knew I had to stop judging myself and give myself permission to do what’s right for me.
I was ready. I gave myself permission to be free – to have lunch like everyone else. It wasn’t long before my tormentors spotted me in the cafeteria. I felt something bad was going to happen but I kept my cool and went about my business until one of them decided to creep up from behind to attack me. That was when I lost it. I detonated.
In that little moment in time, every social grace I’ve ever adopted went out the window. I had to do what came naturally—defend myself. Though I held a black belt in Karate at the time, I must admit fighting for real was very different from fighting in a ring. In the ring, we had to follow the rules. In this case, there were no rules. Anything goes.
I was striking moves I didn’t even know I was capable of just to fight not one, but three people off me. After a taste of my “temporary insanity,” all three of them scattered off like mice running away from a cat. I was in shock. Did I hurt someone? Was I hurt? Was I the cat? (Like I said, I was in a little bit of a shock.)
To make a long story short, from that day onward, things were never the same. No one tried to bother me anymore.
I learned something else along the way as a result of all this. I used to think that doing my best means I have to be in the best mood or else I’m just not doing my best. Or my best has to be this awe-encompassing deal, or else it’s not good enough. I’m glad to say I was wrong.
The truth is that your best is going to change from moment to moment, and that’s okay. It will be different when you are healthy as oppose to sick, happy as oppose to sad. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Doing your best means doing the most natural thing for you in each moment – making decisions to move away from what you don’t want and more towards the things you do want. And if this means you have to take a few steps back in order to move forward, that’s okay, too.
Doing your best also means making each moment for yourself a little better than the last. This does not necessarily mean that the next step you take will put you in an ideal place right away. It may not even make you happy in that moment. But nonetheless it is a necessary step in order to move towards your ideal outcome.
And if those steps you take should somehow lead you to fall hard along the way, that’s okay, too. Just know that sometimes we have to fall in order to rise again—stronger than before.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/even-the-littlest-things-you-do-can-become-a-major-turning-point-for-someone-1892604.html

About the AuthorFrom her columns to her blog, Penny continues to capture the hearts of her readers with exhilarating insight and inspiring wisdom. Her blog offers tips, advice and inspiration on life and relationships. Let this site be a place you go to for some insight to inspire healthier, happier relationships in your life. Relationship Advice From Penny.com


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Expressions of Sympathy

Author: Matthew W. Grant
Even the most talkative and eloquent among us are often at a loss for words when it comes to helping people deal with the death of someone close to them.  We want to express our sympathy, our sharing of their feelings, but we don’t know how to do it.  Words can be comforting, but they’re also fleeting.  So we turn to more tangible expressions of sympathy.
Sympathy gifts come in many forms.  A card with a thoughtful message is often the first thing we seek.  There is a surprising array of choices to be made when selecting a card.  The natural inclination is often to pick a card that reflects the giver’s beliefs as opposed to focusing on those of the bereaved.  Some sympathy cards contain short generic messages and are appropriate for acquaintances such as co-workers with whom one does not have a close personal relationship.  Other cards reflect religious or spiritual themes, which may bring great comfort at such a difficult time.  The final type of card emphasizes the friendship between the giver and receiver.  These cards assure the receiver that a true friend will be ready to provide support in any way possible.
We shouldn’t underestimate the long-lasting impact a sympathy gift will have on the recipient.  This point was driven home for me when I gave a plant to a co-worker.  (It was spring and I was transplanting recently rooted baby spider plants to share with friends and acquaintances.)  The next day she told me that she had cried when she brought it home and put it on her table.
It turned out that her father had died several years earlier.  At that time, someone gave her a plant as a sympathy gift.  Watching the plant grow and burst with life over the years always comforted her by reminding her of the energy and enthusiasm for life her father had displayed.  Did that gift giver have any idea of the power of that simple condolence gift  – that it would console her for years?
Unbeknownst to me, a couple weeks before I offered her that new little plant, her old one had died and she had to dispose of it.  It upset her to see that empty place on the table every day.  She told me that when she brought home my plant and placed it in its spot, it was like that life and energy returned, once again reminding of her in a positive way of her father.
Though it may be difficult to express our sympathy at times, we should all take comfort in knowing that the gestures we make and tokens we give in sympathy are gifts that really will comfort the hearts and souls of the recipients.
© 2006 by Matthew W. Grant  – For more information and resources on this topic, please visit www.ExpressionsOfSympathy.com.
Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_42286_27.html
About the Author: <I>Matthew W. Grant is a writer and consultant who founded two online businesses: <a href=”http://www.APlusEditors.com”>A+ Editors </a> and <a href=”http://www.ComprehensiveAdvice.com”>ComprehensiveAdvice.com</a></I>
http://www.APlusEditors.com

Expressions of Sympathy
Author: Matthew W. Grant
Even the most talkative and eloquent among us are often at a loss for words when it comes to helping people deal with the death of someone close to them.  We want to express our sympathy, our sharing of their feelings, but we don’t know how to do it.  Words can be comforting, but they’re also fleeting.  So we turn to more tangible expressions of sympathy.
Sympathy gifts come in many forms.  A card with a thoughtful message is often the first thing we seek.  There is a surprising array of choices to be made when selecting a card.  The natural inclination is often to pick a card that reflects the giver’s beliefs as opposed to focusing on those of the bereaved.  Some sympathy cards contain short generic messages and are appropriate for acquaintances such as co-workers with whom one does not have a close personal relationship.  Other cards reflect religious or spiritual themes, which may bring great comfort at such a difficult time.  The final type of card emphasizes the friendship between the giver and receiver.  These cards assure the receiver that a true friend will be ready to provide support in any way possible.
We shouldn’t underestimate the long-lasting impact a sympathy gift will have on the recipient.  This point was driven home for me when I gave a plant to a co-worker.  (It was spring and I was transplanting recently rooted baby spider plants to share with friends and acquaintances.)  The next day she told me that she had cried when she brought it home and put it on her table.
It turned out that her father had died several years earlier.  At that time, someone gave her a plant as a sympathy gift.  Watching the plant grow and burst with life over the years always comforted her by reminding her of the energy and enthusiasm for life her father had displayed.  Did that gift giver have any idea of the power of that simple condolence gift  – that it would console her for years?
Unbeknownst to me, a couple weeks before I offered her that new little plant, her old one had died and she had to dispose of it.  It upset her to see that empty place on the table every day.  She told me that when she brought home my plant and placed it in its spot, it was like that life and energy returned, once again reminding of her in a positive way of her father.
Though it may be difficult to express our sympathy at times, we should all take comfort in knowing that the gestures we make and tokens we give in sympathy are gifts that really will comfort the hearts and souls of the recipients.
© 2006 by Matthew W. Grant  – For more information and resources on this topic, please visit www.ExpressionsOfSympathy.com.

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_42286_27.html
About the Author: <I>Matthew W. Grant is a writer and consultant who founded two online businesses: <a href=”http://www.APlusEditors.com”>A+ Editors </a> and <a href=”http://www.ComprehensiveAdvice.com”>ComprehensiveAdvice.com</a></I>
http://www.APlusEditors.com


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Bereavement – how to deal with grief

Bereavement – how to deal with grief

Author: therapyguy

Bereavement – Understanding and coping with Grief.

Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them – Tolstoy

In truth, no written words can ‘cure’ someone suffering with the loss of somebody whom they love.
Grief cannot be ‘cured’ anyway, but it can eventually stop being as painful as you find yourself coming to terms and ‘moving on’. But how long will this take? This is an impossible question to answer and relies on many, many factors. One thing that I am sure of though is that it is better to travel the journey with someone to support you than to do it alone.

Perhaps you are asking ‘why has he written this article if he cannot stop the horrible feelings of loss, feelings of hopelessness and depression?’ Well, that’s a fair question and the answer is that I can help you to understand the grief process that you, and everyone at times in their lives, has to go through. By understanding this, you should be better able to deal with the strong negative emotions that you must feel. Also, recognising that it is a process gives hope to the idea that it will end in spite of how you may be feeling currently.

The primary purposes of this article are therefore to

1) Offer the reader and understanding and therefore help in dealing with the natural and painful process of grieving.

2) To reassure you that the emotional and physical reactions that you may be going through are normal and perhaps even necessary.

3) To explain why help will be of great benefit in supporting and guiding you through the stages of the grieving process and what form the help takes.

It has been written by me, as a Psychotherapist , and will hopefully be of interest and benefit to several types of readers:

a) Someone who has had a recent loss and is finding it hard to come to terms with it.
b) Someone who is anticipating a loss fairly soon and wishes to prepare for it.

c)Someone who has had a loss sometime ago and feels that they are still not over the pain.

Before we begin looking into this important process, I need to clarify a couple of things.
Firstly, what is grief? We can define it as the psychological reaction to loss. We usually think of the death of someone dear to us, but we also grieve for any loss in our lives that we consider significant.
These losses could include the loss of our own childhood if this was unpleasant, divorce, having a miscarriage or losing your job etc.
The first part of this article will introduce some background topics that will help give an understanding as to why this natural process can be so difficult.

Background

The process of grieving is a natural part of the human life experience. It is experienced differently by each of us and is affected by many factors which include culture, beliefs and the other loss experiences that we have had.

However, being a natural process is not enough to ensure that we are able to come to terms with our loss and ‘move on’ to adjust our lives and begin to function effectively again. Western society has been in a state of constant change for many years. This in itself offers stress and anxiety for many individuals. It has impacted on all aspects of our lives which includes the way we view matters such as grieving.

Social changes have seen a decline in what used to be support structures. Families used to live very near to each other, religion was strong and central to many communities, our local doctors knew us and understood us, good neighbours and others in the local community would be available to help in times of need. The decline of these support structures often means that we are (feel) more isolated thereby limiting our opportunities to share and express our emotion.
Are you able to openly show you feelings? Generally, men find this more difficult than women, at least in western society. Men are often raised being told nonsense such as “big boys don’t cry”, “real men keep their emotions under control” etc. Bottling it all up is not healthy. It is at the funeral that men can often allow themselves to cry just a bit.

Funerals play a very important part in saying goodbye and in the acceptance of the fact that a loved one is no longer part of our physical lives. You will also be able to look at the life of the deceased and see him or her in terms of celebrating that life rather than focusing on their death and absence. However, these often take place too soon after a death and can be perceived as a hurried affair. The friends and relatives attending the service will be good for you due to the support they offer, but after the service and follow up function, they leave perhaps taking with them that support.
This ‘hurried’, ‘compacted’ activity contributes to a your having a shorter time to fully grieve than is necessary.

Other difficulties include the way that friends, relatives and work colleagues relate to you. Perhaps they are too sympathetic, perhaps they avoid the subject (or you) altogether, perhaps they irritate by saying empty, albeit well meaning phrases like, “ I know exactly how you feel……”, “time is a great healer..”etc..

So let’s have a look at the process in more detail.
The field of grief counselling has benefited greatly from many dedicated and inspired researchers such as Elizabeth Kubler Ross, J William Worden. Their work and the contribution of clinical experience have shown that all loss has to go through stages. As previously mentioned, there is no fixed timescale involved as we are all affected by grief differently. How we react also depends greatly on the nature and circumstances of the death, but in general:

Shock
At this stage it has not yet been accepted that the death is real. Perhaps your sub conscious is protecting you to allow it to ‘sink in’ slowly so avoiding emotional overload. Others may even comment that you are coping well. You may feel ‘numbness’ and a sense of disbelief.

Separation and Pain
At this stage you may have feelings of intense pining and yearning. These emotions can ebb and flow and can often give concern and be distressing for those close to you that are witnessing this
You may find yourself asking others to reassure you that the person really has gone from your life.
You are likely to have feelings of emptiness and possibly keep ‘seeing’ the deceased.

Despair
This can be a very dark place for the person grieving as the full realisation of a life without the loved one now takes hold. Common thoughts include “what is the point of living without him/her?”, “how will I cope on my own?” You may find it difficult to function normally, become absent minded or depressed.

Acceptance
When you have passed through the previous stages you will start to believe in the possibility of ‘moving on’. This will initially be intellectual acceptance as there will still be emotional mood swings and depressions at times. Anniversaries, birthdays and other special times may still give problems for a time. Resuming a social life may give rise to feelings of guilt that your life is moving on or that others may think that you have now forgotten the deceased.

Resolution and re-organisation
Having got to this stage, you will now be able to discuss your loved person with others and recall fond memories without becoming upset. You shall also be able to lead a full social life without feelings of guilt.

Feelings, behaviours, thoughts and physical responses on your journey

Let’s have a look at some of the above. By being aware and exploring these sensations, may help you to realise that these are normal responses and ones that you can work through.

Feelings:
Anger, perhaps at the person who has left you. Certainly, God regularly gets an ear bashing!

Guilt, perhaps at having anger, perhaps because you have survived, perhaps you don’t know why.

Anxiety: For those having experienced an unexpected death of a loved one, you are now plunged into an uncertain future and may have concerns as to how you will cope, ever be happy again or perhaps even exist.

Emptiness, aching, loneliness as you are constantly reminded of their absence.
Tiredness/fatigue are very common symptoms which perhaps slow us down a bit and help with the healing process.

Yearning is yet another common and perfectly natural occurrence. As you move toward acceptance, this need will lessen.

Other common signs: Confusion, worries about not saying goodbye, obsessive thoughts about the deceased, hallucinations, sleep problems, absent mindedness and many more.

If you have religious beliefs, these can often be challenged at this difficult time. As mentioned earlier, God can be a focus for blame and unanswerable questions that can then make us feel gulty.

Pathological aspects.
You may hear this word which simply means that the grief process is perhaps excessive in its intensity say, resulting in certain types of behaviour or symptoms. These could include:

Quite severe depression
Difficulties in talking about the deceased without intense emotional reaction.
Excessive euphoria after the death.

I do not want to dwell on these because you may start to incorrectly analyse your feelings and this is not the purpose of this article. If you beleive, or others tell you, that you are overreacting or use language that suggests this, then see a mental health professional who is best qualified to help you through.

I hope that you found this information comforting insofar as all those bereaved suffer some if not most of these ‘symptoms’. I also hope that you can begin to realise that it can be very difficult to see your own way through this ‘fog’ of negative emotion. Without support, some can become ‘stuck’ at a particular stage which is clearly undesirable. So where can support be found and what can be expected?

If you have a close and caring family this can be a great help at least at the beginning but at some point you may need professional help. This can be provided by someone from your religious community, voluntary grief workers or professional mental health professionals such as psychotherapists and grief counsellors.

What can you expect?

The person that you select to accompany you on your journey through grief should offer these qualities:

a) He/She recognises that it is your journey and that you set the pace and timescales.

b) He/She listens to you and only speaks when needed or when appropriate.

c) Offering an environment that you accept as a ‘safe place to cry’.

d) He/She travels ‘beside’ you on this painful journey, guiding gently, always supportive.

e) NEVER be judgemental.

Finding the appropriate companion for your journey of grief can be done through voluntary agencies such as Citizens Advice Bureau (UK), age support organisations, religious groups and counselling/therapy practioners which can be found in the yellow pages or online.

I wish you well on your difficult and painful journey and leave you with the knowledge that it is perfectly possible to come through this experience and to be able to get on with your life again. This does not mean that you will forget the one you have lost. You have simply adjusted your life.

David Carroll Dip CP Dip Hyp LHS
http://www.wessexwellbeing.com
email: david@wessexwelleing.com

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_1043033_24.html

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The Importance of the Family Vacation

The Importance of the Family Vacation

Author: Mauro Suarez

Each year, a large number of families make the decision to take a summer vacation.  Despite the fact that a large number of individuals do vacation during the summer months, there are even more families that do not.  Which type of family are you?

There are a number of reasons why a particular family may be unable to take a family vacation.  One of the most common reasons involves the cost.  Unfortunately, many individuals mistakenly believe that a vacation has to be an extravagant adventure. It doesn’t matter whether you travel to the closest amusement park, camp overnight at a state park, or travel around the world, each can be considered a summer vacation.

In addition to the cost of a vacation, a large number of families are unable to take a family vacation due to their busy schedules.  Summer vacations are popular because they are often the only time that a family can take a break from their daily activities.  If you are able to set aside time, whether it be three days or three weeks, you are encouraged to schedule a summer vacation with your family.  Doing so has an unlimited number of benefits.

Perhaps, the greatest benefit of scheduling a summer vacation with your family is the amount of time that you will be able to spend together.  In this day in age, many families are rarely able to spend time together.  Long work hours, homework, and busy sports schedules often prevent a family from enjoying dinner or other fun activities together.  In some cases, a summer vacation is the only way that a family can spend uninterrupted time together.

The relaxation that a summer vacation will provide your family with is another benefit of scheduling one.  Today, children must operate and function differently than they had to in the past.  School age children are often bombarded with large amounts of homework, on a daily basis.  This homework, along with active sport schedules and pressure to be the best, can be difficult for children to handle.  A summer vacation may provide them with the rest and relaxation that they need and deserve.

In addition to your children receiving relaxation, it is quite possible that you and your spouse could as well.  It is true that children have a lot of pressure placed on them, but so do parents.  Scheduling a summer vacation with your family will give you the opportunity to forget about work related issues and home cleaning. These are some of the problems and issues that only a summer vacation could cure.

If you are interested in scheduling a summer vacation, you and your family are encouraged to pick a destination together.  Selecting a summer vacation destination as a family will enable everyone to have access to fun filled activities.  In addition to selecting the perfect family vacation, your children may experience a feeling of importance.  This feeling of importance if often generated from having an input on a large decision, such as your next summer vacation destination.

As previously mentioned, a large number of activities can be considered a summer vacation.  If you are interesting in taking a vacation this summer, you and your family should take the time to find the perfect summer vacation destination.  Why would you want to continue to spend your summers around the house, especially when everyone could be enjoying themselves away from home?

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Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/article_1182333_29.html

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Spending Time With Your Children: Family Day, A Bonding Tradition



Spending Time With Your Children: Family Day, A Bonding Tradition

Spending Time With Your Children: Family Day, A Bonding Tradition

Author: Laura Doerflinger, MS, LMHC

What’s on your family’s plate? Work, volunteering, sports, school, groups, clubs, social activities, household chores? Do you ever wonder how you will keep your family bonded? I have worked as a child and family counselor for over a decade and keeping families bonded has been a particular goal of mine. Fourteen years ago when I held my daughter for the first time, the goal became personal. As my family grew, I knew I had to make a deeper time commitment in order to keep our relationships devoted. I wanted to avoid the pitfalls of my clients who found their families disconnected during crucial developmental stages. I could see that all the challenges my clients face could be challenges for me too. That’s when I came up with the idea of celebrating a weekly tradition in bonding called Family Day.

Just like Valentine’s Day or Thanksgiving, Family Day is a holiday of sorts that takes place on a weekly basis. We celebrate love, connection and the uniqueness of our family. We are committed to this day no matter what the obstacles: work, school, activities, sports or house maintenance. This is the day that we wake up as one and go to bed as one. Every moment is about togetherness, focus, and quality. We started the tradition in 1999. We kept the day simple but active since our children were three and five. They crawled into our bed first thing in the morning for cuddle time. Then we would head to the kitchen and make a special breakfast. After breakfast, we wrote up a list of activities on a scrap piece of paper. Everyone chose an activity giving each family member a chance to share his or her favorite games or events. I cannot tell you how many times in those early years that we played blocks, dolls or hide-n-seek but the activity was merely an avenue for relationship building.

The activities changed as the kids got older and included movies, hikes and day-long adventures. But when the day was done, we felt connected for the long, busy week ahead. Family Day might be a beneficial tradition for you. It has brought many of my clients’ families closer together, some that were on the brink of disconnection.

This is how it works:

  1. Pick a day: We picked Sunday. A day is really a perfect amount of time to fulfill each person’s special activity. If you find a whole day is too hard on your schedules, then an evening could work too. For example, a Friday family game night might be fun or a Saturday pizza and a movie could work. Or expand on a time you already have in your schedule like church and breakfast.
  2. Wake up together: When our children were young, they usually made their way into our bed so we woke up cuddling, wrestling, or playing a guessing game. Now that they are older, we meet on the couch for something hot to drink, chat or tell jokes then head for the breakfast table.
  3. Breakfast Time: Every holiday has a feast. Our feast is at Family Day breakfast. Everybody has a task as we all work hard to make the meal into an event. My son learned how to make coffee (with supervision) by the time he was four and my daughter makes her “famous” pancakes. We do not hold back at this meal. Our breakfast is filled with goodies.
  4. Family Day Journal: Although we spent years writing a list of activities on a scrap piece of paper, one Family Day I suggested we write our lists in a journal. From that point forward, after breakfast we bring out our Family Day Journal and take turns writing our special list. We even added a page of family news. We look back fondly on our list every so often remembering our past Family Days.
  5. Family Day Activities: In our family, we come up with eight Family Day activities. Because there are four of us, we each get two choices. The writer gets to pick who is first, second, and third. The writer shares his/her pick last. Ideas will vary with your children’s age. My son tended to pick hide-n-seek when he was younger whereas my daughter tended to pick an art project. Now, they pick movies, games, or shopping. No matter the choice, we all must participate. Some suggestions are hide-n-seek, playing a board game at a coffee shop, planting a vegetable garden, baking cookies, making paper dolls, playing dolls, building a city with blocks, making up a scary story, going for ice cream, renting movies at home or going to a movie, painting each other’s portrait on canvas place mats, decorating bird houses, making Christmas gifts, carving pumpkins, rock climbing, hosting an International Ping-Pong Invitational, putting together puzzles, playing house, playing I-spy with a special shell we found at the beach on our last Family Day, playing bingo, going to visit family, adventuring out to a museum, telling tall tales, making clay models, and so much more. The list is prioritized in terms of time-line or we’ll put the ideas in a basket and draw. Although we parents do have some veto power (i.e. money or time constraints), generally anything the kids pick is accepted.
  6. Commitment: We are committed to Family Day every week, however, there are always some exceptions. For instance, if I am going on a training weekend or my husband has a conflicting job, Family Day will be carried on by the parent at home or we will reschedule it in advance to Saturday. Our friends and family know that we are not available on Sunday because we are focusing on each other. After almost 10 years, I can say that Family Day was the best thing we ever established in our little clan.

Copyright 2008 Parent Education Group – Reprints Accepted – Two links must be active in the bio. The article homepage: http://www.familyauthority.com/articles/family-day.html

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/parenting-articles/spending-time-with-your-children-family-day-a-bonding-tradition-751560.html

About the Author
Laura Doerflinger, MS, a licensed mental health counselor, is the Executive Director of the Parent Education Group at http://www.familyauthority.com/ and the author of the audio book, Emotionally Balanced Parenting.


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Powerful Family Goals Setting Techniques



Powerful Family Goals Setting Techniques

Powerful Family Goals Setting Techniques

Author: Vince Shorb

Steps to creating powerful momentum for your family.

When the entire family is working toward one goal you will be pleasently suprised on how fast you will see results. What’s more, when the entire family unit is working toward financial goals it can be a bonding experience that everyone will appreciate.

Working toward family financial goals brings families closer together. You will find that your family will begin to operate as one unit in order to reach those financial goals. Many top business organizations, sports teams, charities and sororities share common financial goals that bring everyone involved closer together. It works for them so let the power of family financial goals work for you.

What family goals to set.

Family goals should be set for all areas of your life including: health, personal development, spiritual/ religious and life goals. This article will focus on family financial goals; however you can easily adopt the techniques to cover the remaining areas of your life. Once more, each individual person in the family should set their own personal goals and have full support from the family.

By setting family financial goals and working as a family to achieve financial freedom everyone involved gets a sense of purpose and something positive to work toward. Children, parents and other extended members of the family will all benefit from the support of working toward family goals.

How to set family financial goals.

Setting family financial goals begins with identifying objectives that your family wants to accomplish. Take some time to figure out what motivates everyone. Maybe one family member wants a vacation home at the beach, another person wants to retire next year and another member wants to have enough financial security to take a month off each year on family vacations. Find out what everyone dreams about because this will help you understand each others goals and you’ll become closer because of it.

Once you have an understanding of what each family member wants it time to align your goals. Maybe you want to learn more about making investments, want to increase your 401k savings, would like that new car, or just want to have more money for a rainy day. The bottom line is that everyone in the family has to do their part. When everyone works together with a common goal of achieving financial freedom then everyone’s life improves. The ability to set family financial goals and achieve family goals will improve every aspect of you personally and your family as a whole.

Family Financial Goals That Work.

There are effective goal setting techniques available that will allow your family to maximize the effectiveness of your financial goals. One helpful technique to aid in accomplishing your goals is to set them using the S.M.A.R.T method.

– S ‘ Significant & Specific. The more detailed you are able to make your family goals the closer you are to achieving them. This gives you a clear target to shoot for and when you see what you’re aiming at you have a much better chance at hitting the bull’s-eye.

Be sure to make your family financial goals significant. They must mean something to your family so that they are motivated to reach them. Setting a goal of saving for a gallon of gas probably won’t motivate people but if it was to save gas for a weekend trip now that’s another story. Remember kids, teens and young adults are motivated by lifestyle not money. So be sure to relate money to being able to afford the type of lifestyle your family wants to live.

– M – Motivational & Measurable. Family goals need to be measurable so you can celebrate together once you achieve them. This makes goal setting fun and a true bonding experience.

Family financial goals should also motivate each member to attain them. Design goals that motivate and encourage each family member to do their part.

– A – Attainable. Dream huge and be realistic. You can be anything you set out to be; however growing gills so you can swim underwter probably won’t happen.

– R – Results-oriented, Reasons & Related. One way to maximize the effectiveness of your family financial goals is to phrase your goals in the positive. Using results-oriented words like “I accomplished,” “I received,” or “I have”, will direct your mind to focus on the outcome. Focusing on the outcome is one of the key steps to becoming financially free.

Your family financial goals should include the reasons too ‘ would you like money for college, a nice vacation, etc. It’s the reasons behind the goals that make us want to accomplish them. Money doesn’t matter it’s what money brings us that matters.

Family financial goals must relate to each other so the family works as a single unit. Setting powerful family financial goals starts with making sure everyone’s goals are heading in the same direction and not contradicting each other. For instance, if one family member’s goal is taking a family trip to the beach next weekend and another goal is to work that weekend to save more money ‘ those contradict each other.

– T -Time. Its important that your goals have a set deadline in place. Decide on a specific time so you push each other to accomplish them by a certain date.

Take an evening and sit down together for dinner with no interruptions. Get everyone’s dreams, goals and aspirations out. Find a way to align your goals to create a dynamic family that accomplishes goals together. Every goal you set out and accomplish together will bring everyone closer.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/powerful-family-goals-setting-techniques-275550.html

About the Author

Vince Shorb is a trusted financial success coach; having advised over a thousand clients on practical ways to better their financial future. His step-by-step approach in his latest course, ‘Financially free by 30’ has been met with rave reviews. Learn more and claim your free video lessons at http://www.FreeBy30.com .


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